My First Blog

I have been wanting to start a blog for a long time now, but sometimes life gets so busy and it goes way faster than you expect it to. I go back and forth wondering if I am a good mom because I haven't written (or typed) about everything that has happened since having our baby girl. I guess it is never too late to start getting better.
The last 15 months of my life have been so lifechanging to say the least. I have become a mom since then and it is the most rewarding, but not always easy, job in the world. I absolutely love being a mom. My baby girl, Bella, is a blessing from the Lord. She has definitely taught me so many things. She has taught me that I have to rely on the Lord for everything. That is not always an easy thing to do. I know that as a semi-OCD person, that I definitely love to take things into my own hands a lot of the time. Being a mom has shown me that I no longer have control [not like I had control before, but I thought I did:) ]! I have had to learn to just accept change and go day by day. Recently I was reading a devotional and it talked about a phrase, "Gracious Uncertainty". I had never heard of that before but this is the explanation it gave, "we are uncertain of the next step, but we are certain of God. We can be certain of God's grace while being graciously uncertain of the future details of our lives." I am learning daily that I have to live this way every day. I have to trust that God is in control even though I don't know what he has planned for me and my family in the future.
Another thing that Bella has taught me is that being a mom is very bittersweet. I love seeing her growing every day but at the same time it makes me so sad because she is growing so fast! Like this week for example, she started saying "I love you". Of course it sounds a little different but I can tell it's what she is saying. She is starting to say so many words now it amazes me. She says something new every day. Also, this afternoon me and her were in her room and I was putting her clothes up. She pulled all of her dirty clothes out of the hamper. Once I finished with putting her clean clothes up, I started to put the pile of books up that she had pulled out. I asked her to put her dirty clothes back in her hamper and she stood there and picked every single piece up and put it away like a "big girl". I almost cried! My baby girl is growing up! I was so proud and so sad at the same time. When they are small you want them to get bigger and then when they start getting bigger then you want them to slow down!
Well I made it through my first blog and have already shedded some tears. Since I have started now, I will try to be a better mom and keep it up! Just some thoughts from a mom who is blessed beyond measure!